LEFT OUT. ---> this should've been the tile for this entry but I guess the new one fits better. I thought it over a few times, on how I should write this entry and if I should just flat out say it while being heartless or consider the fact that I'm being a tad bit selfish, because in this entry I AM BEING SELFISH. Is that bad? :|
Well anyway, here I go...
Okay, uhh, I know that me leaving isn't exactly that much of a loss. (Is it?) but they don't really have to RUB IT IN that they don't mind. I don't know if its for real or if I'm just being overly dramatic, but I feel REALLY LEFT OUT. I know they are probably just MOVING ON with their lives, but I just, I still want to belong but it's like every time I'm not with them, the thread is growing thin, I'm afraid that someday, somehow it might actually break. I mean, they might actually FORGET that I exist. Come on, WTF?!
You guys should at least let me feel like I'm still a part of your freakin' lives because obviously to me, you guys are still a big slice of my cake. I LOVE YOU GUYS. maybe even more than how I have loved my previous classmates. but WTH. WHAT THE HECK!!!!!!!!!
THIS IS A TRASHY ENTRY.
PLEASE DON'T MIND THIS.
IT'S SELFISH AND STUPID AND I AM AT A LOSS FOR WORDS.
Sorry, I am so devastated (not exactly the right word, I suppose) that I can't even bring myself to write about it.
It's been a long day. While I was at the 3rd floor building, I was watching my classmates get in line for the afternoon circle (it's something we nurses do before going to duty) and I was like, calling out their names but nobody heard me. >,> I didn't know what I felt that time, it was a mixture of "hah! i don't have to do that and stand around and come early to school just for the circle" and another part of me said "aaaw, I want to join them," I was always, always in front.
Yeah well, anyway. I wonder what the reaction of my previous CI was. hah! I hope she went hypo tachy tachy and all. (insert evil laugh here) oh yeah, and uh, I need to sharpen my communicating skill. To think I was able to talk to a lot of patients since the last semester but I still am very shy and quiet when with new people. ugh. being the new girl sucks. but it also has a few advantages. ;)
I'm like, going to totally shock my new sections. HAH! FOR YOUR INFORMATION, being IRREGULAR does not automatically mean I failed a subject (I'm not THAT dumb) I'm like, the epitome of I'm-afraid-to-fail-that's-why-I'm-studying-my-fucking-ass-off kind of girl, ya know? But nobody knows that yet, so yeah, I'ma kill some hardcore, snotty new classmate's pride. XD
YEAH. I CAN BE BAD ASS.
P.S. Raznim calls me MING. So I'm gonna put a cute little kitty icon as well. :3